I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
