Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
