i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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