Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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