Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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