I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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