they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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