You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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