PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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