I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
