You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
