I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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