But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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