yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
