I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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