Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
