He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
