Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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