Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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