Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
God, I missed his penis.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
