Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
