His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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