gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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