somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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