shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
