So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
