So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
