I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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