Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
