i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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