I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
