Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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