playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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