I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
