Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize