Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
