after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
