I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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