Just took my morning after pill in the library
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
