Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
