I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
