Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
