She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
