just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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