dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
