Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I CAN MOONWALK!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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