I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
