so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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