well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
