I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
