Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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